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Prometheus said,
on March 10th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Do you own a vehicle? Do you like to keep it clean? If you do, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. When night falls and you don’t have a garage, small animals such as cats and other rascals like to climb on top of your vehicle that is still warm from a day’s running. Most of the time these animals don’t have clean feet, this presents the problem. Footprints start appearing on your once clean and shiny car or truck, and you start to wonder. . . “What could be doing this?” Through thorough research and sleepless nights I’ve found that there are some very simple solutions to this pest problem. Unless you’ve purchased a Saturn, your vehicle’s body panels are most likely made of some sort of metal. For those of you less educated folk, metals have all the right properties to conduct electricity. Electricity, in turn, has a most rather unpleasant effect on living beings such as cats. You have the option of electrifying your vehicle’s body panels. Another option for those of you energy conscious people is to get a sniper rifle and lay on your roof or other convenient vantage point, waiting for your furry friends to mosey along looking for a place to nap and leave their dirty footprints. This makes for excellent target practice and improves your rifle skill; it also helps you to be heartless when faced with a decision to kill. If you’re not the hardened soldier type and you would like to obey animal cruelty laws you could always camouflage yourself to hide in a bush near your means of transportation, or if you want to go all out, you could just paint yourself the same color as your vehicle. Either way this nifty trick will work every time: lay in wait for your unsuspecting prey and when the time is right jump out and snag the furry friend, stuff it in a bag or box and cart it to your local pound.
These are just a few of the ways you could solve the ever-growing problem of animal-to-car contact. We must join together if ever we want these atrocious acts to stop, or we could all build garages.
Mercury said,
on March 12th, 2006 at 11:24 am
I like this satire. I though it was very funny. You presented a minor problem, and acted as if it was a major problem. I liked the solutions for the problem as well.
Its a realistic problem in which many people face. Its a problem that only car-lovers face, but i like the way you made it seem like everyone faces this type of situation. This was very evident.
This is a very creative satire. The problem is a very unique one, that many people would not think of. Its creative because its not one that people would place high on thei list of problems.
I thought the tone was appropriate. I thought this because it was not a major problem therefor you were able to use humor, and that worked well.
I like this stly of writting. I think that it grabs the readers attention and keeps them interested. the more outrageous the ideas, the more interesting the writting becomes.
I thought this was a good satire and there is not much i would change. If anything i would say just elaborate on the solutions.
Prometheus said,
on March 13th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
Yeah so my satire is almost a satire, I think the only thing that’s wrong with it is the fact that I come right out and state the problem directly. Chances are that i’m wrong about more things than i thought because that seems to be the way things go down in my life!
Prometheus said,
on March 15th, 2006 at 9:19 am
Do you own a vehicle? Do you like to keep it clean? If you do, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. Through thorough research and sleepless nights I’ve found that there are some very simple ways to keep your vehicle spotless and untouched.
Unless you’ve purchased a Saturn, your vehicle’s body panels are most likely made of some sort of metal. For those of you less educated folk, metals have all the right properties to conduct electricity. Electricity, in turn, has a most rather unpleasant effect on living beings such as cats, raccoons, squirrels, badgers, etc.. You have the option of electrifying your vehicle’s body panels, thus keeping all potential pests at bay. There are some pros and cons to this option; electrifying your car’s body panels will deter most pests but can also potentially deter loved ones and yourself. Also, you may want to create a reserve bank account for the purchase/ payment of electricity/ batteries.
Another option for those of you energy conscious people is to get a sniper rifle and lay on your roof or other convenient vantage point, waiting for any furry friends to mosey along looking for a place to nap and leave their dirty footprints. Though illegal, this makes for excellent target practice and improves your rifle skill; it also helps you to be heartless when faced with a decision to kill.
If you’re not the hardened soldier type and you would like to obey animal cruelty laws you could always camouflage yourself to hide in a bush near your means of transportation, or if you want to go all out, you could just paint yourself the same color as your vehicle. Either way this nifty trick will work every time: lay in wait for your unsuspecting prey and when the time is right jump out and snag the purpetrator, stuff it in a bag or box and cart it to your local pound, unless it is bigger than a sheep, in which case that would just be weird.
These are just a few of the ways you could keep your car clean and untainted. We must join together if ever we want these atrocious acts to stop, or we could all build garages.
~Prometheus
Mercury said,
on March 18th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
This is much better than the first. I like the sarcasm you used to prove your point. I thought you were able to make this a satire and not a commentary. You alos used sarcasm and irony to successfully make your pont. Your satire made me laugh a lot and I really enjoyed reading it. Sorry that this comment is late, my computer caught a virus so i had to use a friends.
on March 10th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Do you own a vehicle? Do you like to keep it clean? If you do, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. When night falls and you don’t have a garage, small animals such as cats and other rascals like to climb on top of your vehicle that is still warm from a day’s running. Most of the time these animals don’t have clean feet, this presents the problem. Footprints start appearing on your once clean and shiny car or truck, and you start to wonder. . . “What could be doing this?” Through thorough research and sleepless nights I’ve found that there are some very simple solutions to this pest problem. Unless you’ve purchased a Saturn, your vehicle’s body panels are most likely made of some sort of metal. For those of you less educated folk, metals have all the right properties to conduct electricity. Electricity, in turn, has a most rather unpleasant effect on living beings such as cats. You have the option of electrifying your vehicle’s body panels. Another option for those of you energy conscious people is to get a sniper rifle and lay on your roof or other convenient vantage point, waiting for your furry friends to mosey along looking for a place to nap and leave their dirty footprints. This makes for excellent target practice and improves your rifle skill; it also helps you to be heartless when faced with a decision to kill. If you’re not the hardened soldier type and you would like to obey animal cruelty laws you could always camouflage yourself to hide in a bush near your means of transportation, or if you want to go all out, you could just paint yourself the same color as your vehicle. Either way this nifty trick will work every time: lay in wait for your unsuspecting prey and when the time is right jump out and snag the furry friend, stuff it in a bag or box and cart it to your local pound.
These are just a few of the ways you could solve the ever-growing problem of animal-to-car contact. We must join together if ever we want these atrocious acts to stop, or we could all build garages.
on March 12th, 2006 at 11:24 am
I like this satire. I though it was very funny. You presented a minor problem, and acted as if it was a major problem. I liked the solutions for the problem as well.
Its a realistic problem in which many people face. Its a problem that only car-lovers face, but i like the way you made it seem like everyone faces this type of situation. This was very evident.
This is a very creative satire. The problem is a very unique one, that many people would not think of. Its creative because its not one that people would place high on thei list of problems.
I thought the tone was appropriate. I thought this because it was not a major problem therefor you were able to use humor, and that worked well.
I like this stly of writting. I think that it grabs the readers attention and keeps them interested. the more outrageous the ideas, the more interesting the writting becomes.
I thought this was a good satire and there is not much i would change. If anything i would say just elaborate on the solutions.
on March 13th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
Yeah so my satire is almost a satire, I think the only thing that’s wrong with it is the fact that I come right out and state the problem directly. Chances are that i’m wrong about more things than i thought because that seems to be the way things go down in my life!
on March 15th, 2006 at 9:19 am
Do you own a vehicle? Do you like to keep it clean? If you do, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. Through thorough research and sleepless nights I’ve found that there are some very simple ways to keep your vehicle spotless and untouched.
Unless you’ve purchased a Saturn, your vehicle’s body panels are most likely made of some sort of metal. For those of you less educated folk, metals have all the right properties to conduct electricity. Electricity, in turn, has a most rather unpleasant effect on living beings such as cats, raccoons, squirrels, badgers, etc.. You have the option of electrifying your vehicle’s body panels, thus keeping all potential pests at bay. There are some pros and cons to this option; electrifying your car’s body panels will deter most pests but can also potentially deter loved ones and yourself. Also, you may want to create a reserve bank account for the purchase/ payment of electricity/ batteries.
Another option for those of you energy conscious people is to get a sniper rifle and lay on your roof or other convenient vantage point, waiting for any furry friends to mosey along looking for a place to nap and leave their dirty footprints. Though illegal, this makes for excellent target practice and improves your rifle skill; it also helps you to be heartless when faced with a decision to kill.
If you’re not the hardened soldier type and you would like to obey animal cruelty laws you could always camouflage yourself to hide in a bush near your means of transportation, or if you want to go all out, you could just paint yourself the same color as your vehicle. Either way this nifty trick will work every time: lay in wait for your unsuspecting prey and when the time is right jump out and snag the purpetrator, stuff it in a bag or box and cart it to your local pound, unless it is bigger than a sheep, in which case that would just be weird.
These are just a few of the ways you could keep your car clean and untainted. We must join together if ever we want these atrocious acts to stop, or we could all build garages.
~Prometheus
on March 18th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
This is much better than the first. I like the sarcasm you used to prove your point. I thought you were able to make this a satire and not a commentary. You alos used sarcasm and irony to successfully make your pont. Your satire made me laugh a lot and I really enjoyed reading it. Sorry that this comment is late, my computer caught a virus so i had to use a friends.