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Venus said,
on March 8th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/viagra.shtml
“Viagra Spill Revives Lake Michigan”
I thought that this had a funny title and there were some good use of phrases within the passage. There were a couple of sentences with double meanings and I felt that it made the piece humorous.
Venus said,
on March 10th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
Why do people assume that there are high school cliques?
I am in my senior year of high school, and I have realized that cliques are all fictional. I walk down the hallways of the school, and I don’t see the large group of the “jocks” huddled together cracking jokes, the cheerleaders gathered around talking about the latest fashions, and I certainly don’t see the band members together discussing there daily lives. I just don’t understand why people complain so much about the certain groups in high school.
I attend the sports games and I am always sure to browse about the crowd. I definitely do not see the “rowdy boys” configuring cheers to shout out in their section. I also do not see the so-called “popular girls” cheering on the teams. I look around and see everyone mixed together like one big happy family. There is never any fighting amongst people, because there is no reason to fight, since we all get along so well together.
The time when I most realize the unity of all the students is at lunch. I look around to see, not each individual group at their own table, but everyone spread around mingling with each other at all the tables. In fact we all get along so well, that there should only be one gigantic table in the cafeteria for all of us to sit at together. I am so glad that our whole school is able to be so tightly knit with no fighting or disagreements amongst us. It’s such a relief to realize that I have one less thing to worry about when I step into the school building. I know that I do not have to be “popular” to fit in with people.
After a day in my school, I find it soothing to realize that there are no cliques among us. Cliques?? I don’t even know the meaning of the word.
Iris said,
on March 12th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
First of all I really like your satire although I don’t know if it is clear as to whether or not you are being serious or sarcastic about the topic of cliques in high school. On the other hand I find the topic to be catchy and interesting. Also, each paragraph flows and each contains a main idea like it is supposed to. The issue you are discussing is clearly stated and you also show your knowledge of the subject by incorperating your daily life experiences. Your mechanics and usage of verbs are good as well as your sentence varirty and transitions. There are no workable or creative solutions incorperated in your satire although it was said that solutions did not always have to be used in satires. Over all I think that this is a very good satire with a very good topic to discuss. The only thing that I would work on is maybe incorperating a little more exageration on whether or not u agree with the topic or if you are being sarcastic. Other then that, good job.
-Iris-
Venus said,
on March 13th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Well I think that my writing is in satire form, because it states a problem that many people face. It is very sarcastic and over the top, to where it almost seems believable. It also doesn’t hurt that Mrs. Urbach read it out loud, in class, and said it was a satire. HAHA. It still need some work, but overall I feel that it is a good example of a satire. I was a little bit unsure about it before today, but now I am a bit more confident in my piece.
Venus said,
on March 15th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
Why do people assume that there are high school cliques?
I am in my senior year of high school, and I have realized that cliques are all fictional. I walk down the hallways of the school, and I don’t see the large group of the “jocks” huddled together cracking jokes, the cheerleaders gathered around talking about the latest fashions, and I certainly don’t see the band members together discussing there daily lives. I just don’t understand why people complain so much about the certain groups in high school.
I attend the sports games and I am always sure to browse about the crowd. I definitely do not see the “rowdy boys” configuring cheers to shout out in their section. I also do not see the so-called “popular girls” cheering on the teams. I look around and see everyone mixed together like one big happy family. There is never any fighting amongst people, because there is no reason to fight, since we all get along so well together.
The time when I most realize the unity of all the students is at lunch. I look around to see, not each individual group at their own table, but everyone spread around mingling with each other at all the tables. In fact we all get along so well, that there should only be one gigantic table in the cafeteria for all of us to sit at together. I am so glad that our whole school is able to be so tightly knit with no fighting or disagreements amongst us.
I was walking down the hallway and one of the cheerleaders shouted, “Hey! Will I see you this weekend at my party?” The odd thing about this was that she was speaking to a group of the so-called “nerdy kids.” In classrooms, I see the “punk-rocker” kids chatting with the “preppy” kids. It amazes me to see the cooperation from all of the students. This makes me say to myself, “At my school cliques do not exist.” At the football games, the players and cheerleaders root for the band members, and let’s face it, this does not normally happen in other situations. For this reason, is why I am so happy to attend a school where everyone is equal. It’s such a relief to realize that I have one less thing to worry about when I step into the school building. I know that I do not have to be “popular” to fit in with people.
After a day in my school, I find it soothing to realize that there are no cliques among Cliques?? I don’t even know the meaning of the word.
Iris said,
on March 18th, 2006 at 9:45 am
Venus I think that your original copy was good and very satirical but I think that this is a lot better In the original the only thing was that you were being so sarcastic you honestly could not tell if you were being serious or not because an average person that didn’t know you might think that you were being serious. I also like how you added more occurences at school to relate to your topic to show more examples. I enjoy your topic and I think that yours is a good example of what a satire “should” look like.
-Iris-
Venus said,
on March 22nd, 2006 at 2:48 pm
Why do people assume that there are high school cliques?
I am in my senior year of high school, and I have realized that cliques are all fictional. I walk down the hallways of the school, and I don’t see the large group of the “dumb jocks” huddled together cracking their ridiculous jokes, or the cheerleaders gathered around talking and checking themselves out in their compacts, and I certainly don’t see the “band geeks” together discussing their schedules and events. I just don’t understand why people complain so much about the certain groups in high school. I feel that they are virtually non-existent.
I attend the sporting events, and I am always sure to browse about the crowd. I definitely do not see the “rowdy boys” configuring obnoxiously loud cheers to shout out in their section. I also do not see the so-called “popular girls” giggling and cheering on the boys on the team. I look around and see everyone mixed together like one big happy family. There is never any fighting amongst people, because there is no reason to fight, since we all get along so well together.
The time when I most realize the unity of all the students is at lunch. I look around to see, not each individual group at their own table, but everyone spread around mingling with each other at all the tables. In fact we all get along so well, that there should only be one gigantic table in the cafeteria for all of us to sit at together. I am so glad that our whole school is able to be so tightly knit with no fighting or disagreements amongst us.
I was walking down the hallway and one of the snobby cheerleaders shouted, “Hey! Will I see you this weekend at my party?” The odd thing about this was that she was speaking to a group of the so-called “nerdy kids.” In a normal situation these nerds would have their pocket protectors all in a bunch from a cheerleader even acknowledging them, but not in my school. In classrooms, I see the depressed “punk-rocker” kids chatting with the designer-fashioned “preppy” kids. It amazes me to see the cooperation from all of the students. This makes me say to myself, “At my school cliques do not exist.” At the football games, the players and cheerleaders root for the band members, and let’s face it, this does not normally happen in other situations. For this reason, is why I am so happy to attend a school where everyone is equal. It’s such a relief to realize that I have one less thing to worry about when I step into the school building. I know that I do not have to be “popular” to fit in with people.
After a day in my school, I find it soothing to realize that there are no cliques among Cliques?? I don’t even know the meaning of the word.
on March 8th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/viagra.shtml
“Viagra Spill Revives Lake Michigan”
I thought that this had a funny title and there were some good use of phrases within the passage. There were a couple of sentences with double meanings and I felt that it made the piece humorous.
on March 10th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
Why do people assume that there are high school cliques?
I am in my senior year of high school, and I have realized that cliques are all fictional. I walk down the hallways of the school, and I don’t see the large group of the “jocks” huddled together cracking jokes, the cheerleaders gathered around talking about the latest fashions, and I certainly don’t see the band members together discussing there daily lives. I just don’t understand why people complain so much about the certain groups in high school.
I attend the sports games and I am always sure to browse about the crowd. I definitely do not see the “rowdy boys” configuring cheers to shout out in their section. I also do not see the so-called “popular girls” cheering on the teams. I look around and see everyone mixed together like one big happy family. There is never any fighting amongst people, because there is no reason to fight, since we all get along so well together.
The time when I most realize the unity of all the students is at lunch. I look around to see, not each individual group at their own table, but everyone spread around mingling with each other at all the tables. In fact we all get along so well, that there should only be one gigantic table in the cafeteria for all of us to sit at together. I am so glad that our whole school is able to be so tightly knit with no fighting or disagreements amongst us. It’s such a relief to realize that I have one less thing to worry about when I step into the school building. I know that I do not have to be “popular” to fit in with people.
After a day in my school, I find it soothing to realize that there are no cliques among us. Cliques?? I don’t even know the meaning of the word.
on March 12th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
First of all I really like your satire although I don’t know if it is clear as to whether or not you are being serious or sarcastic about the topic of cliques in high school. On the other hand I find the topic to be catchy and interesting. Also, each paragraph flows and each contains a main idea like it is supposed to. The issue you are discussing is clearly stated and you also show your knowledge of the subject by incorperating your daily life experiences. Your mechanics and usage of verbs are good as well as your sentence varirty and transitions. There are no workable or creative solutions incorperated in your satire although it was said that solutions did not always have to be used in satires. Over all I think that this is a very good satire with a very good topic to discuss. The only thing that I would work on is maybe incorperating a little more exageration on whether or not u agree with the topic or if you are being sarcastic. Other then that, good job.
-Iris-
on March 13th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Well I think that my writing is in satire form, because it states a problem that many people face. It is very sarcastic and over the top, to where it almost seems believable. It also doesn’t hurt that Mrs. Urbach read it out loud, in class, and said it was a satire. HAHA. It still need some work, but overall I feel that it is a good example of a satire. I was a little bit unsure about it before today, but now I am a bit more confident in my piece.
on March 15th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
Why do people assume that there are high school cliques?
I am in my senior year of high school, and I have realized that cliques are all fictional. I walk down the hallways of the school, and I don’t see the large group of the “jocks” huddled together cracking jokes, the cheerleaders gathered around talking about the latest fashions, and I certainly don’t see the band members together discussing there daily lives. I just don’t understand why people complain so much about the certain groups in high school.
I attend the sports games and I am always sure to browse about the crowd. I definitely do not see the “rowdy boys” configuring cheers to shout out in their section. I also do not see the so-called “popular girls” cheering on the teams. I look around and see everyone mixed together like one big happy family. There is never any fighting amongst people, because there is no reason to fight, since we all get along so well together.
The time when I most realize the unity of all the students is at lunch. I look around to see, not each individual group at their own table, but everyone spread around mingling with each other at all the tables. In fact we all get along so well, that there should only be one gigantic table in the cafeteria for all of us to sit at together. I am so glad that our whole school is able to be so tightly knit with no fighting or disagreements amongst us.
I was walking down the hallway and one of the cheerleaders shouted, “Hey! Will I see you this weekend at my party?” The odd thing about this was that she was speaking to a group of the so-called “nerdy kids.” In classrooms, I see the “punk-rocker” kids chatting with the “preppy” kids. It amazes me to see the cooperation from all of the students. This makes me say to myself, “At my school cliques do not exist.” At the football games, the players and cheerleaders root for the band members, and let’s face it, this does not normally happen in other situations. For this reason, is why I am so happy to attend a school where everyone is equal. It’s such a relief to realize that I have one less thing to worry about when I step into the school building. I know that I do not have to be “popular” to fit in with people.
After a day in my school, I find it soothing to realize that there are no cliques among Cliques?? I don’t even know the meaning of the word.
on March 18th, 2006 at 9:45 am
Venus I think that your original copy was good and very satirical but I think that this is a lot better
In the original the only thing was that you were being so sarcastic you honestly could not tell if you were being serious or not because an average person that didn’t know you might think that you were being serious. I also like how you added more occurences at school to relate to your topic to show more examples. I enjoy your topic and I think that yours is a good example of what a satire “should” look like.
-Iris-
on March 22nd, 2006 at 2:48 pm
Why do people assume that there are high school cliques?
I am in my senior year of high school, and I have realized that cliques are all fictional. I walk down the hallways of the school, and I don’t see the large group of the “dumb jocks” huddled together cracking their ridiculous jokes, or the cheerleaders gathered around talking and checking themselves out in their compacts, and I certainly don’t see the “band geeks” together discussing their schedules and events. I just don’t understand why people complain so much about the certain groups in high school. I feel that they are virtually non-existent.
I attend the sporting events, and I am always sure to browse about the crowd. I definitely do not see the “rowdy boys” configuring obnoxiously loud cheers to shout out in their section. I also do not see the so-called “popular girls” giggling and cheering on the boys on the team. I look around and see everyone mixed together like one big happy family. There is never any fighting amongst people, because there is no reason to fight, since we all get along so well together.
The time when I most realize the unity of all the students is at lunch. I look around to see, not each individual group at their own table, but everyone spread around mingling with each other at all the tables. In fact we all get along so well, that there should only be one gigantic table in the cafeteria for all of us to sit at together. I am so glad that our whole school is able to be so tightly knit with no fighting or disagreements amongst us.
I was walking down the hallway and one of the snobby cheerleaders shouted, “Hey! Will I see you this weekend at my party?” The odd thing about this was that she was speaking to a group of the so-called “nerdy kids.” In a normal situation these nerds would have their pocket protectors all in a bunch from a cheerleader even acknowledging them, but not in my school. In classrooms, I see the depressed “punk-rocker” kids chatting with the designer-fashioned “preppy” kids. It amazes me to see the cooperation from all of the students. This makes me say to myself, “At my school cliques do not exist.” At the football games, the players and cheerleaders root for the band members, and let’s face it, this does not normally happen in other situations. For this reason, is why I am so happy to attend a school where everyone is equal. It’s such a relief to realize that I have one less thing to worry about when I step into the school building. I know that I do not have to be “popular” to fit in with people.
After a day in my school, I find it soothing to realize that there are no cliques among Cliques?? I don’t even know the meaning of the word.